american idol & my bff deandre.

a few weeks ago, i surprised my mom with tickets to an american idol taping.
so tonight, we ventured out to hollywood.

"do you want to stand in the pit?"

we were almost to the front of the line when one of the staging ladies asked me this question.

"oh, no thank you" i said, "i'll just sit."
"well, either you and your mom can sit together in the back, or i can split you up and you'll have better seats."

i looked at my mom. and nodded to her that i wouldn't mind splitting up, knowing that she wanted to be as close to the front as she could. "we'll split up" my mom said.

we grabbed our tickets, went inside and my mom took her seat in the second row, while i took mine in the third. "i really don't want to be on tv" i had told her "but i know you do - so you should take the second row seat. you'll have a better chance of being on camera that way."

moments before the first performance, a stagehand walked up to my row and told the girl on the end "you're going to have to move during the first song because deandre is going to start his song here."

a performer was going to be 2 seats away from me?
yikes - that was dangerously close to some potential camera time.

i laughed with the girl next to me about how excited she was to sit next to him and i helped her fix her hair for the inevitable tv debut she was about to get.

as deandre made his way over to our row, another stagehand motioned for that girl to scoot over to the end, leaving an empty chair in between she and i.

an empty chair for deandre.

you have GOT to be kidding me.

he sat down next to us and i couldn't decide whether i should say something, or just let him get in the 'zone.' that's what the contestants do before they sing, right? they get in the zone?

i decided to quietly wish him good luck.
he didn't respond.
i concluded that he was, indeed, in the zone.

then a few moments later, he turned to me and squeezed my hand.

"ah, i'm sorry! thank you so much!" he said.
crap. i had brought him out of the zone.
"i like sitting out here, this is nice!" he said.
okay, don't worry guys. i was forgiven.

but apparently, i had broken the barrier of silence.
"I LOVE YOU. YOU ARE MY FAVORITE ON THE SHOW." gushed the girl on the other side of him.

then there was a 10 second countdown, a blinding light on our faces, and.....
30 of the most awkward seconds of my life took place.

the whole way home, before having watched it, i was anticipating it to appear on t.v. as awkward as it had felt in real life. but as it turns out, i did a pretty good job of hiding my extreme spastic tendencies. (go me!) and it was pretty funny to see myself on the show and get texts from people who were surprised to see me while they were watching.

so there you go. my unexpected, national t.v. debut!
and now, i officially know not to audition for any television shows, because apparently i get pretty nervous having a camera in my face, even when i'm just sitting down. hahaha
i can not imagine having to sing under that kind of pressure.

i also realized that i will go fan-girl over just about anyone that i've ever seen on tv. case in point : tommy hilfiger, nigel lythgoe, and j-lo, who i actually said 'i love you' to. not sure why. that isn't even true. but she said it back so now we're both liars and it's all good.

lots of fun at american idol!

p.s. i was suuuuuper bummed that my favorite got voted off last week! i just missed you, heejun! but you'll always be MY american idol!